Zabij Speedyho Gongalése!

5. září 2008 v 20:30 | DonGaiusDarth Vojta
Toto je hned první mise v Extrémní jízdě hry Mafia. Chlápek, který vám zadá ůkol postává u první zatáčky napravo, když stojíte zády před vaším domem. Ůkol je prostý, jednoduše musíte zapít chlápka, který má raketové nohy a tudíž je extrémně rychlý. Možnosti jak na to jsou dvě. První těžší možnost je běžet za ním a Coltem 1911, který máte od začátku u sebe ho zabít. Druhá podstatně lehčí možnost je nasednout do auta a rozjet se mu naproti. Nikdy se mi nestalo, že by před autem uhnul, naopak rozběhl se přímo proti mě :-). Když ho zabijete vraťte se zpátky k chlápkovi co vám zadal auto a ten vám dá auto Flower Power.
Mapka:
 

Anketa

28. června 2008 v 20:55 | DonGaiusDarth Vojta |  Války a válečníci
Vedle v menu máte v zajímavých odkazech ( kolonka pod rubrikami) novou anketu na desin, prosím, hlasujte v ní ať vidím jak se vám líbí. Dík

Vtipy z knížky

28. června 2008 v 20:42 | DonGaiusDarth Vojta |  Vtipy & úvahy
Ahoj, dostal jsem knížku s vybranými vtipy, pár jich tu dám.
1.) Co mají společnýho pes boxer a krátkozraky gynekolog? Vlhkej čumák...
2.) Co mají společnýho žena a fazole? Když jim nedáte pořádnej klacek, plazí se k sousedovi...
3.) Co to je? Leží to za plotem a nejde to přehodit- Záplotník nepřehoditelný
4.) Vejdou se čtyři sloni do auta? Vejdou, protože jsou tam čtyři sedačky. Vejdou se do auta čtyři velbloudi? Ne, protože už tam sedí sloni...
5.) Plavou dvě dynosauří samice v řece, za jednou zůstává na hladině dlouhý pruh krve. První dynosauřice se zeptá té druhé: ,, Co se děje, proč krvácíš?" Ta druhá odpoví: ,, to víš mám ty své týdny..." Ta první zas řekne: ,, No fuj ty snad nepoužíváš ovce?"
 


Texty k písničkám

2. června 2008 v 15:23 | DonGaiusDarth Vojta |  Vtipy & úvahy
Ahoj, tady máte texty k písničkám co jsou v předchozím článku. Je tu i odkaz na mp3s. nadruhou, kde si je můžete stáhnout.
1.)Don McLean- American pie:
Verse 1
A long long time ago
I can still remember how that music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died
{Refrain}
So, bye-bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry
And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Verse 2
Did you write the Book of Love
And do you have faith in God above
If the Bible tells you so
Do you believe in rock n' roll
Can music save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to dance real slow
Well, I know that you're in love with him
'Cause I saw you dancin' in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Man, I dig those rhythm & blues
I was a lonely, teenage broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died
I started singin'
{Refrain}
Verse 3
Now for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin' stone
But that's not how it used to be
When the Jester sang for the King and Queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
In a voice that came from you and me
Oh, and while the King was looking down
The Jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned
And while Lenin read a book on Marx
The quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died
We were singin'

{Refrain}

Verse 4

Helter Skelter in a summer swelter
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter
Eight miles high and falling fast
It landed foul on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
With the Jester on the sidelines in a cast
Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the Sergeants played a marching tune
We all got up to dance
Oh but we never got the chance
'Cause the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died
We started singing
{Refrain}
Verse 5
Oh, and there we were, all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on, Jack, be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack Flash sat on a candlestick
'Cause fire is the devils only friend
Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in Hell
Could break that Satan's spell
And as flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the music died
He was singing
{Refrain}

Verse 6

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't play
And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken
And the three men I admire most
The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died
And they were singin'
{Refrain}

Bye-bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy
But the levy was dry
And them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
They were singin'
Bye-bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy
But the levy was dry
And them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
2.) Maddona- American Pie

American Pie

A long long time ago I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile
And I knew that if I had my chance
I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while
Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above
If the Bible tells you so
Now do you believe in rock 'n roll
And can music save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to dance real slow
Well, I know that you're in love with him
Cuz I saw you dancin' in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues
I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew that I was out of luck
The day the music died
I started singing
Bye bye Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry
And good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' this will be the day that I die
This will be the day that I die
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
Well, I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't play
Well now in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken
And the three men I admire the most
The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died
They started singing
Bye bye Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry
And good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' this will be the day that I die
This will be the day that I die
Bye bye Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry
And good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' this will be the day that I die
This will be the day that I die
We started singin'
We started singin'
We started singin
3.) Al- Yankovic: Anakin Guy
A long, long time ago,
In a galaxy far away,
Naboo was under an attack.

And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn,
Could talk the Federation in
to maybe cutting them a little slack.

But their response, it didn't thrill us,
They locked the doors and tried to kill us.
we escaped from that gas,
And met Jar Jar and Boss Nass.

We took a Bongo from the scene,
And we went to Theed to see the Queen.
We all wound up on Tatooine,
That's where we found this boy.

Chourus: Oh my, my
This here Anakin guy.
May be Vader,
Some day later,
Now he's just a small fry.
He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye,
Saying 'soon I'm gonna be a Jedi,
Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi!'

Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn't even old enough to shave?
But he can use the force, they say.
Oh, do you see him hittin' on the Queen?
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen.
Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her, some day.

Well, I know he built C-3PO,
And I heard how fast his pod can go.
And we were broke, it's true,
So we made a wager or two.

Well, he was a pre-pubescent flyin' ace.
And the minute Jabba started off that race,
Well, I knew who'd win first place,
Oh yes, it was our boy!

We started singing:
Oh my, my
This here Anakin guy.
May be Vader,
Some day later,
Now he's just a small fry.
He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye,
Saying 'soon I'm gonna be a Jedi,
Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi!'

Well, we finally got to Coruscant,
The Jedi council, we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be.
So we took him there and we told the tale,
How his midichlorions were off the scale,
and he might fullfill that prophecy.

Oh, the council was impressed, of course,
Could he bring balance to the force?
They interviewed the kid,
Oh, training they forbid!

Because, Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said, 'now listen here!
Just stick in your pointy ear,
I still, will teach this boy!'

He was singing:
Oh my, my
This here Anakin guy.
May be Vader,
Some day later,
Now he's just a small fry.
He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye,
Saying 'soon I'm gonna be a Jedi,
Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi!'

We caught a ride back to Naboo,
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to,
I frankly would've liked to stay.
We all fought in that epic war,
And it wasn't long at all before,
Little hot-shot flew his plane and saved the day.

And in the end some Gungans died.
Some ships blew up
And some pilots fried.
A lot of folks were croakin',
The battle droids were broken!

And the Jedi I admire most,
Met up with Darth Maul, and now he's toast
I'm still here, and he's a ghost
I guess, I'll train the boy.

And I was singing:
Oh my, my
This here Anakin guy.
May be Vader,
Some day later,
Now he's just a small fry.
He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye,
Saying 'soon I'm gonna be a Jedi,
Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi!'

We were singing:
Oh my, my
This here Anakin guy.
May be Vader,
Some day later,
Now he's just a small fry.
He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye,
Saying
'soon I'm gonna be a Jedi
mp3s.nadruhou: bohužel není

Žatecká prda

1. června 2008 v 14:07 | DonGaiusDarth Vojta |  Videa
Nasel jsem to na netu a prislo mi to vtipny tak to sem davam...

Kam dál